Memories
by Eternal L0ve
Summary: Bella, Emmett, and Alice are all siblings. They all lived in 1918. One by one they have accidents and get changed by Carlisle. Bella's the last one and she doesn't remember anything. But will it all come back to her when she see's her sister again?
1. Hidden

**A/N: Disclaimer for entire story: I'm not Stephenie Meyer and I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters.**

**This is my first Twilight fic.! Hope you like it!**

**Just in case you get confused I'll tell you right now: Emmett, Alice, and Bella are siblings. Emmett (Em)should be 21, Alice (Ali) should be 19, and Isabella (Bella) is 18. They are children of Charles and Rebeca Swanson. (I tried to think of names that might have been used in the early 1900's/ late 1800's. Charlie and Renee Swan didn't sound like they were from 1900's so I came up with Charles and Rebeca Swanson because they sound a little like Charlie and Renee)**

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Memories

Chapter 1: Hidden

Isabella's POV

Standing on the porch, I looked up at the sky. There was a storm coming. I didn't need a weather man to tell that. The sky was grey with storm clouds and it was lightening; not yet touching the ground, but not yet raining either.

I wrapped my coat tighter around me and ran around back to my little garden. It wasn't doing too well, despite all the rain lately. I didn't get much to eat from this garden, and it was my only food source.

Wind whipping my dress around me, I began digging around in the dirt, hoping to find something eatable. Then I remembered that little potato I had saved for dinner at lunchtime today. Hurrying, I began looking in the middle of the potato row. There it was, right where I left it. I grabbed it and ran back to the cabin, desperate to get back before it started raining.

My father, Charles, and brother, Emmett, built this cabin 7 years ago in 1914. They found a little meadow while hunting for food once in this forest. Then Mother and Father decided to build a house here. Father cut down trees from the forest around the meadow. Em, 14 then, wanted to help, so him and Father build this little cabin for us to live during the Spring. I was 11 then. Now I am 18.

I sighed. I didn't have that happy little family anymore. Everyone, Mother, Father, Em, Ali, everyone were dead. I was all alone, in hiding here in the forest. No one knew about me; no one except Samuel, Father's old friend. He trusted Samuel to keep Emmett and me safe.

_"I should go to Samuel's house soon. Maybe after this storm is over." _I thought. I still went to Samuel's house every month when I could. Samuel lived there, (I don't know where, just how to get there) with his grandson, Collin. I never liked Collin. He was always mean to me; from aggravating me to insulting me, and everything in between.

I watched the rain pour down on the one little window. It had never rained so hard since that night Father left. I sat there eating my potatoe but not really paying attention to it. I remembered that night when Father left.

*~*~*

_It was raining. Raining hard. I stared out the window. Father was down below in the drive way loading things he'd need into his car. We we're lucky enough to have a car. Some families don't. We were one of the few poor families who owned one. _

_I stared down at the photograph of our family. We were all happy in that photograph. But that was about 6 years ago; before Mother died and before they had sent Ali to that asylum. No one was happy anyone. Well, Em was a little if you count trying to make jokes out of everything as happy. But that's just Em, he's just like that. _

_I carefully placed the photograph under my pillow whne I heard the door open. It was nice and safe now. I treasured that photograph. I cried and nearly beat Em when he told me when he'd said he'd lost it when he went to town it was just a little joke. He does things like that too much. _

_I slowly walked down the stairs to the room where Father was. I was grateful for every second that I knew he was still with me here in this house. I'd really miss it. _

_"Are we leaving soon, Father?" I asked him. _

_"Yes, Bella, I'm sorry. Go tell your brother that you need to pack."_

_"Yes, Father." I replied politely. I walked slower than normal up the stairs to Em's room. I open the door slower than normal, too. "Hey, Em? Father says we should start packing now." I whispered. I even talk slower and quieter than normal. Em was sitting on his bed playing with some kind of cards. _

_"Yeah, yeah, Bella. In a minute." He said back. Knowing him, he'd probably not have started by the time to go. _

_I went back across the small hall to my room. I grabbed a few of my favorite dresses to wear and folded the neatly into my small luggage. And the two blankets that Mother has sewn me. Then the dress she'd made be two years ago. Then my two little dolls I got when I was five. They still comfort me. One was from Mother, the other from Ali. And lastly I placed the photograph carefully on top of every. _

_I closed the top and walked back down to Father. He was still there in that same room. I started to walk out the door to put it in the car when he stopped me. He took my bag and said, "Let me do that, Bella" _

_--_

_Em had finally got down here from his room. We got in the car and took off. We were going to our little cabin in the forest. We'd have to walk half the way, because it didn't have a drive way. That made it the perfect place to hide. _

_Father had been drafted into the war. That meant he was probably going to die, too. And just almost a year after our Mother had died, too. It was just our family's luck. But I curse myself internally for thinking about this. We'd had some luck. Em wasn't drafted yet, but he was old enough at 18 to be. That's why we're even doing this, to protect him and me. So even if he does get drafted, no one can find him to make him, as much as he might want to go fight in that war._

_But we had to go every month to see Samuel and Collin, who was to old to go and was too young to go. I hated Collin, he was mean to me. But he lived with his grandfather, who Father trusted, so we had to go._

_--_

_After we walked there and Father helped us unpack it was time for him to go. I walked slowly to the porch where Em and him were._

_"Do you have to go, Father?" I asked, it sounded more begging than I meant. _

_"Yes. Bella, babe, you know I do."_

_"Yes, but that doesn't mean I can't hope." I felt sad, but more afraid for him than anything. I was going to cry soon, I felt it. _

_"Oh, Bella! Come here, babe." He said, sadly. I obeyed._

_"Listen, Bella. Don't worry about me. I'll always be with you, right here in your heart." He said that patting my heart. He made it sound like he knew he was going to die soon. "And in your memories, just like your Mother is." That really made it sound like he was going to die. All the words seemed like they were coming from the other side of a long tunnel. "I promise I'll see you again, someday, Bella, dear. I love you. And you too Emmett." With that he turned away. _

_"Wait!" I yelled. It was the loudest thing I'd said in two days. But He did turn back around._

_"You can't just leave me here. Mother died just a few months ago and Emmett's not serious enough!" I said softly, really pleading now. Faintly I heard Em say,"Hey!"_

_"That's exacly why your going to visit Samuel. Promise me you will. And promise me you'll help your brother take care of you. It will give me peace of heart."_

_"I promise. I'm 15, Father, I can practically take care of myself now." I was the youngest in the family but still old enough to take care of myself._

_"Yes, I know. But I don't feel comfertable leaving you by yourself. And Em needs a place to stay even if he doesn't want to. And speaking of which, Em promise me you won't go off to fight in the war." _

_"I promise." Em mumbled._

_"Good. Now, goodbye. I love you both." He turned and walked back toward the forest. Only when the forest trees swallowed him up and I couldn't see him, did I finally start to cry. Em led me into the Kitchen and sat me down beside him at the small little table. I lend into him and cryed silently. He rubbed my hair back. He was really being a big brother now. That's good._

_I was angry at myself for crying. I was 15 now. I shouldn't be crying now, nothing had happened yet._

_*~*~*_

That was in 1918, its 1921 now. An here I sat crying at the same place in the same chair looking out the same window. I could literally imagine Em in the chair beside me, comforting me.

But I had a different reason for crying this time. I cryed all the time now. But I cryed now because of all the memories. Memories of what happened after that one little day:

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**I really hope you guys like this story. It just randomly popped into my head sometime around 2AM one morning. Its odd most of my good ideas come to me in the middle of the night when I'm half asleep. Well anyway, so I thought of this and thought It was my best Twilight idea. So I typed it up and here you go.**

**I appologize for any confusement or if I manage to offend anyone somehow. **

**Please review. I love it. They make me feel special and make me want to update sooner. Tell me what you think about it. And if you think its even good enough it continue. Ideas, criticism, PMs, and pretty much anything is welcome. I'll respond to everything as soon as I get it.**

**And I'll mention you somewhere in the next chapter if you do review.**

**thanks to anyone who reviews/favorites and especially to anyone who read this and likes it.**

**thanks,**

**Eternal L0ve**


	2. The Letter

Memories

Chapter 2: The Letter

_In my room I sat, reading a book. Emmett was out in the garden planting corn seeds that I had gotten from town last week. I had to go to town some days for obvious reasons. Em couldn't even though he wanted to more than me. He was getting very bored here in the cabin. More bored that I was, but at least I had my books. I loved to read, even thought I had read all these books many times each. I still loved them; I loved all classics. _

_It had been about 2 months since Father went to fight in the war and left Em and me in hiding. I had gone to seen Samuel once; it was almost time to go again. He had come here once. That was a week after Father had been gone. Collin had come with him. _

_Em loved Collin, and I hated him. They were best friends. Both loved to hunt and things like that. They go together often to get more food for Em and me. I never wanted to learn. I had Em to do that._

_Samuel had left quickly. He is afraid of forests; afraid of bears in the forest. He had a good reason to. His best friend had died a long time ago. They were hunting together and a bear had killed him. He doesn't really want his grandson to hunt but Collin does anyway. I'm not afraid of them thought. Em knows those things._

_I put my book down, marking my place. I should go help Em with the corn. When I got out back Em was still digging the holes for the seeds. He'd left the seeds on the ground so I picked them up and asked Em, "Want some help?"_

_"You don't have to Bella. I got it." He said._

_"Too bad. How many do you put in each hole?" I asked._

_He sighed then said, "Three. But I was going to do it. You can go and read or something."_

_"I said too bad. You can go and dig your holes." I said. He never let me help. I should do more; all I did for us was cook. I grabbed the sack and started behind him, putting three seeds in every hole very carefully. Then I covered them back up with dirt._

_Soon I was done and the corn was planted. But then we heard someone knock on the front door. I glanced up and Em. Then we ran to the front._

_It was just Samuel. We hadn't heard him come through the forest, even though he probably hurried. Collin hadn't come with him. Yay!_

_"Oh, hello, Samuel!" Emmett said._

_"Yes, hello, Emmett. Isabella." He said, nodding to both of us._

_I nodded and asked, "What brings you here, Samuel?"_

_"I have your mail. I didn't dare open it. It was addressed to you and it looked important." He said handing me a letter. Father had made the post office send all our mail to him._

_"Thank you!" I said. He nodded and began looking around at the trees. It was almost funny how quickly he got scared out here. I decided to let him off asking if he could go, that might be awkward for him, and said, "You can go if you want to, Samuel."_

_It was his turn to thank me and he hurried off, almost running, into the forest. Then Em said, "Why'd you tell him that?"_

_"You didn't see how scared he looked?" I asked disbelievingly. _

_"No, I didn't."_

_"You never notice small details, do you?" He didn't say anything. We turned and walked up into the cabin. We sat at the table and I handed Em the letter and made him open it. He took out a paper and read it. Halfway through his face looked so grave it made me scared. It was probably something from the army. And then he was done. He handed me it and but his head on the table. I think he was crying. And he didn't cry very much. The last time I remember was when Mother died. Oh, God! That was probably just it! Father probably died and they're sending a letter to tell us!_

_And I was right. I needed to stop being right so often, it was bad. It was horrible how jokingly I had been just a few minutes ago. I started crying as I reached toward the envelope. With each second that passed, the more the news sunk in and the more I cried. The letter said something about they had sent us everything he had on him. I looked in the envelope and there was a photograph. It was of our family, all of our family looking very happy, just like the one I had under my pillow. I didn't know he had another one. I looked at his face, his warm and loveing face smiling down at his children. I cryed harder, knowing I'd never seen it again, knowing all that was left was memories. _

_But he can't have died! Not just after Mother had died! He can't have! And he promised me! He promised we'd see each other again! He can't have died!_

_I flipped the photograph over. It had the names and the date like all photo's do, but below that in rushed writing were the words, "They promised". And that made me cry even harder. I knew he was talking about our promises we made right before he left._

_Emmett leaded over and hugged me, comforting me, comforting both of us. In that some position he had two months ago. We were both sobbing now. But somehow, how I'll never know, somehow he managed to say, through his tears, "At l-least now we can g-get Ali out of that place."_

*~*~*

I still don't know how he could say _that_ and a time like that. Maybe he was trying to comfort both of us some more. Or he could have just being his normal joking self. That's what I loved about him. Always joking, even in the most serious of times.

I didn't know then that it didn't matter if Mother just died. And I didn't know that I would lose everyone, _everyone_, in just a few years.

Yes that did happen.

I walked up to my bedroom. I had cried enough for one day. I sat on my bed and decided to read. I picked the book I had read before going to the garden that day. I read and read, trying to block out the sad memories that threatened to come back to me. I had enough of them today. I read until I was sure I couldn't read one more word, even though I hadn't really took in those words, and went to sleep.

**A/N: I'm soo sorry for not updating for so long. I'll explain if you PM me and ask really nicely. It's to long to put in an A/N.**

**Do you want me to change this anyway? Do you want more of the present POV's? The memories are more important to the story. There will be less after she gets changed, I promise. How can I improve this? Do you have any ideas? I might just surprise you and use them. So please review and tell me. Reviews also make me happy and make me wan to update faster because I know people are out there who care about this story and actually want more. **

**You can PM me anytime and I 'll reply ASAP.**

**Thanks sooo much Cracker.895, izabethelay13, kizziejanay, peanutt102, and pinkpanda1323 for favoriting, izabethelay13, DemonicDisposition, babes93, and penutt102 for reviewing, and DemonicDisposition, kizziejanay, and onyxamethestheart for adding to story alert!!! Thanks soo much you guys!! I loved everyone!**

**Luv,**

**Eternal L0ve**


	3. The Asylum Part 1

_A/N: Sorry for not updating in a while. I was really busy, including 3 birthday parties, and I had writers block. I updated chapter 2 to make it a little more dramatic. And I forgot to put the 'they promissed' thing the first time. Sorry. This whole chapter is a memory so I thought it would be kinda stupid if I italicised the whole chapter. I might make it be a dream or something. I don't know yet. So here's you another chapter:_

Memories

Chapter 3: The Asylum

It is February 27, 1919. Three weeks ago had been Alice's 17th birthday. I am 16 and Emmett is 19. Today we are finally getting Ali out of that asylum. She was put in there about three years ago by Mother and Father in late December of 1916. She was just 14 then, and she was my best friend. Last summer was when we got the news of our father's death. I don't know why we waited so long. But today, with both of them dead, no one could stop us from getting our sister out of there.

Emmett had begged me to let him come with me to get her out. He begged until I gave in. Then I realized that it would probably be best for him to come. Even if Father's last wish was to keep Em out here, nothing would stop him this time. And I agreed.

We both thought Ali didn't deserve to be in there. She wasn't crazy, she had a gift. A gift for telling the future. She was gifted, not crazy! Sometimes I think Father was the crazy one, insisting on throwing her in there. And Mother for agreeing. They probably just got freaked out or something. But they still should not have thrown their oldest innocent daughter in stupid asylum!

But today _nothing_ could stop us.

I clutched Mother's locket tightly in a fist. I loved that locket. It reminded me of how life used to be, before Ali got sent in the asylum. Before Mother or Father died. Before life lost it's happiness. It was my mother's. The picture on the left was of Father and Mother and the picture on the left was of Em, Ali, and me. If I remember right that was when I was 11, the year the cabin was built.

Emmett had found it in the attic, one day, and given it to me for Christmas last year. I never took it off.

I went over to Em's room and knocked on the door. Nothing. I opened the door this time. His always complaining about privacy. But there he was still asleep in the bed. He was a heavy sleeper, he could sleep through anything. Lucky him. I always woke up as soon as sunlight comes in. But I'm okay with that. I don't really like sleeping. Well more like I don't like dreaming. My dreams are always nightmares or sad memories. Lucky me.

But I have never had to wake him up before. That was the problem. I tried many things. But all he did was grumble and turn around to the other side. Okay, time to get ruffer. I was getting frustrated. So I knelt down beside him on the bed (I had been jumping on it) Then I pulled back his eyelids, blew in them, and screamed, "WAKE UP, EMMY!" He hates that nickname, says something like its a girls name. I use it when I want to annoy him. It works.

This little stunt got me pushed off the bed and yelled at. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" he screamed. But at least he's awake.

"Well, I had to wake you up somehow. And now you are awake. So lets go!"

"Go where?"

"Honestly, Em! How can you forget _this_."

"What?"

"We're getting Ali out! I ever knew you were _this_ much of a morning person! Now let's go!"

I watched him slowly remember what I'd been talking about. Wow, he was slow! Then he mouthed 'OH!' real slowly and said, "At least let me change first!"

So I ran down stairs shutting the door behind me. I was excited! Today I was finally seeing my sister and best friend again! After two years! I hadn't seen her since we went to visit her that one day. I forgot when exactly it was, though.

A few minutes later Em came down. Then we took off. We had a long way to go, really. We lived in the far Sothern part of Chicago. Samuel lived in the West, but not really far West. And the asylum was in the far North Eastern, close to the lake. The forest only covered halfway there so we had to sneak the rest of the way. The forest covers all of the way to Samuel's house, though.

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_A/N: Sorry for the abrupt ending. I promise I will update this chapter sometime soon to make it longer instead of adding another chapter. I'm just not in the writing mood today and I feel like crap but I knew I had to write something to keep everyone happy and I can't update on the weekends so..yeah. A short chapter is better than no chapter, right._

_Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I don't feel like going back and checking every word. Sorry._

_And I made up that description of Chicago. I've never been there and I don't know if there was a forest in the sothern part in 1919 and all i know about it is that the North Eastern part is close to one of the lakes so I put 'by the lake' and I don't really feel like looking things up. So just pretend there is a forest. Sorry if you do live in Chicago or something an dyou found some kind of offense in this. _

_This chapter's thanks goes to:_

_**For favorite-ing:  
**LoveIsAJourneyNotADestination2  
twilightfreak913_

_**For story alert-ing:  
**babes93  
Sophie-LA-is-foolio_

_**For reveiwing:  
**ivy  
izabethelay13  
DemonicDisposition  
babes93_

_I loved all of them. They all made me excited and happy and want to write more. So please review this chapter!_

_Luv,  
Eternal L0ve_


	4. The Asylum Part 2

_A/N: I'm so sorry!! I promised you that I would update soon and I'm so sorry that its like almost 2 months later and I still haven't. Please forgive me! And I also said I'd update inside the last chapter but I really don't want to do that now. Sorry. And the reason I couldn't update was this. I think I updated on a Friday, right? Well I never update on weekends, Monday I felt bad, that Tuesday there was a bad storm and I couldn't get on the computer, I can never update on Wednesdays, and Thursday I went back to school, which I totally forgot to warn you about. Sorry. But this is me warning you now, just so you know I can't update much during school. Sorry again._

_This is going to be part 2 of the last chapter. It's not going to be italicized except for the little flashback inside the memory. Because everything happened in her past in this chapter. It's going to be short, since I'm just finishing up the last chapter in this one. And I promise I'll get back to her present after this chapter._

_Okay so I'm gonna start just calling her mom and dad mama and papa cuz its just to weird for me to say mother and father. And I'm changing their names to just charlie and Renee Swan. Yea sorry for all this crap with the changes. Its just that I'm not a very good decider and change my mind a lot and is to lazy to go back and change everything from the beginning._

_And pretend in the last chapter I didn't say 3 weeks ago had been Alice's birthday. Pretend i said today was her birthday, okay._

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Memories  
Chapter 4: The Asylum, Part 2

We were going to walk through the woods until they ran out. I used to not understand why Emmett had to hide out like this. Now I knew, though. If he had been drafted, then if someone saw him they could easily go and tell whoever's in charge of those things where he was and they could come get him. Our father didn't want him to go, I don't want him to go, he wants to go but doesn't want to leave me by myself. He hates it, being practically locked up in hiding. But he likes being here with me.

I can't wait until we get Alice out of there. Then she can join us. We'll tell her everything that happened, she'll cry at first, then she'll say something like "Well, be happy we have each other. Starving kids in Africa don't have that much." And then everything will be normal as possible without Mother or Father. I can't wait for that. I can't wait to be happy.

I looked over at Emmett and smiled. We were almost there now. Em was only going because he begged me with better arguments than I had. And that was only one that probably didn't count anymore and Emmett didn't really care about it.

_"Alright, so tomorrow I'm going to get Alice out of the asylum." I said, repeating out loud the plans I had in my head._

_"What about me?"_

_"What about you?" I asked in a complete different tone. I was hoping Emmett wouldn't start this. But I should have known better, actually._

_"I'm coming, too."_

_"No your not." Oh please, Emmett, don't start this. We could do this for hours._

_"Yes I am. It's more likely I'll get her out than you will, anyway."_

_"Oh, really? Why is that?"_

_"Your a minor. And I could pretend to be her father."_

_"Your not that old."_

_"I'm nineteen. And they're not likely going to let a little 16-year-old girl sign and trust to get her out of that place. You're so short, Bells!"_

_"Your still not going." I said, arguing. OK, he did have a point there that I _had_ thought of._

_"Why?"_

_"Because Papa said you could never leave the cabin."_

_"This doesn't count. He didn't want Alice out of there, either." OK, again he had a point. I was so losing this argument.__ you. And she's my sister, too."_

_"You promised him..." _

_"Please. I have as much right as_

_"No! Papa said _NEVER_ lea..."_

_"Please?" _

_"Still no! You have to remember what..."_

_"Please?" He said. He got out his dumb pouty face right in the middle of my speech. I hate his pouty face. It looks so sad, like a kicked, sick little puppy. And it always makes me give in to him, no matter how hard I try not to. I can't help it. Just like right now. Crap. "Oh, alright!"_

Yeah, I had really bad arguments, didn't I. So here we are, walking toward the asylum. Emmett's going to have to fake a signature if he has to. We really don't know what to expect, we've never done anything like this. But whatever it takes, we'll do it.

We could actually see it now. The big gray building made me feel seriously depressed. The little side entrance door was all rusty and there was a big dumpster by it. Little Ali (Yeah she is older, but she's so small and I've just always called her that.) didn't deserve to be in a place like this. She didn't do anything that bad. She just had a little vision thing that came true and scared Mama. And it scared Papa too of course and he wanted to make Mama happy and decided to throw her in this place.

At the reception desk a girl who looked younger than me sat looking like she really did not want to be here. She kept glancing neviously at the door on the oppisite side of the room like some phsicopath would come rushing in with a axe to chop her head off with. I shuddered, realising how reasonable that fear was. My big sister was NOT crazy and NEVER would belong in this place no matter WHAT my parents think-thought. A sudden flow of determination rushed through me. We WILL get her outta here, I thought as I looked at the girl and realised how easily we could trick her.

"Follow my lead, wherever it decides to go." I whispered to Emmett. He nodded looking more serious than I'd ever seen him. This was gonna be the best birthday gift Alice had ever gotten.

"Hello, Susan." I said to the girl, reading her name tag. "We are here to, um, visit my, um, sister." Crap, I hoped she didn't notice by 'um's. It was still in visiting hours; I'd noticed the sign by the door.

"And you are?" She asked, making me slightly annoyed.

"I'm her sister-"

"I got that much." Okay, I was slightly more than slightly annoyed at her now.

"If you'd let me finish, I was going to say, "I'm her sister, Bella, and this is, um, her father."

"Then why isn't he talking." And to think I took symphany for her. Who'd hire a rude girl like this as a receptionist?

"Because he's...he can't. He's mute, you know." Even with the um's and hesitations, this was the best lying I'd ever done. I looked at Emmett. He looked really annoyed at me. He he.

Susan nodded and said, "Okay, so who IS your sister?"

"Alice Swan."

She began looking through the files. Not until she got to the S's and I looked over and Emmett, who was shaking his head, still looking annoyed that he couldn't talk, did I realize I got her name wrong. "No, sorry. Her name's Mary Alice Swan."

Susan turned and looked at me exasperly. "Well there's no Swan in here. No, wait. Except this man named William Fred Swan, who I take is not your sister."

Then my mind seemed to brake into two different parts and all think different thoughts. The first and fastest thought, _You take correctly_. It I actually said under my breath. The other part thought,_ Wait. WHY isn't she in the records. What happened!_

I look up at Em, confusion clear on my face. He looked down with the same expression I must have on my face. I looked around the room again to see if they could have gotten misplaced. I noticed a small stack of files on the untidy desk. "What about in there?" I asked.

She looked up at me and then where I was pointing. She walked over to them and said, "Hey look! It's the first one."

"Well go on! What's it say."

She looked up at me annoyed. Then she said, "Oh um, it says that she, um, died. Sorry."

My first reaction was to look over at Emmett. He was staring at Susan, mouthing 'what?'. I think I was to shocked to feel the shock. But then all the earlier determination rushed out of me as quickly as it'd came to me. My mind did that odd 2 part thing. The crazy shock part thought, _What, NO! She can't have died! Papa just died a few months ago and we were gonna come get her OUT! And today was her BIRTHDAY!_ The rational part thought, _Maybe she ran away or something._

"H-how?" I said shakily, barely louder than a breath.

"It says she was found early this morning by a doctor who took her strait to the morgue and come back to report this right before he left to go home."

Well there goes the last bit of your hope, I thought randomly before I had time to do anything

"No. No, no, no, NO! NO, she DIDN'T, you liar!" I yelled, my voice starting out little more than a breath, then rising. All I felt was anger. Anger at Susan, at Alice, at myself, or at fate, I didn't know. Just anger, crazy anger.

"Yeah she did. Maybe you should take her place, huh." Susan said. I wondered what my face looked like right now, but only for a second. Then I just got madder.

"NO! Let's get outta here Em!" I said, pulling Emmett to the door.

Once outside Em grabbed my arms and stared at me and said, "Calm it down, Isabella. Your hysterical."

"Don't tell me to calm down! My big sister just died! How am I supposed to feel!"

"Yeah well she was my little sister. Just please stop. For me." Just then I noticed the tears. Both of our tears, mine considerably more of. Then he hugged me. His strong hands comforting me, I felt oddly relaxed. I focused on the tears, letting them fall without me feeling much. It seems all I do these passed few years is cry. I guess I have reason.

Then the whole lot of resent events crashed down on me. All I felt now was sad, no anger, no relaxation, nothing but sadness. It seems everyone I love in life just dies on me. Why. Am I cursed or something? Why?

.~.~.~.~.

The walk home was a silent one. I mostly stared blankly at the space in front of me, not really seeing anything, just willing myself to get back home. Just keep moving. Emmett walked with me the whole way, not wanting to walk in the forest. We didn't really care if we were seen now. It seemed an odd chance if someone were to recognize him and got report him to somebody. It felt stupid how we had always been careful. It didnt' matter what Papa had wanted. It was only Emmett and me now.

Over the month, Emmett got to working harder in the garden, well, anywhere there was work to me done. He worked harder, as if it would bring Alice back to us. It wouldn't, nothing would. But that was just the rational part of me speaking. Someplace deep inside I had this odd feeling that I knew Ali was still alive. I felt crazy at the time, felt that it was just shock at my life's events. But I didn't know then how right I was.

* * *

A/N: Like it? I really hope you do. It took me long enough to write it. I had writers block for forever and never had time much to write it. But tonight I just had this sudden erge that I had to write it tonight and well here it is. Oh and pardon the grammer errors if you see any.

Please review. Give me your feedback and any ideas are welcome, as always. Thanks for all who reveiwed, favorited or alerted! And please forgive me for being stupid and not updating for a very long time. How many months was it?

Oh and I got a poll on my profile for this story. Go vote please. It's about what kind of freak accident you guys want to happen to Bella as an excuse for Carlisle to change her. I can do either and try to do any other ideas you have if you pick the 'other' choice.

Bye, now!


	5. Forced Memories

_A/N: Another chapter already! This is the fastest I've ever updated anything. And I'm pretty sure it's the longest. It only took me about 2 hours to write it down in my notebook, a full 8 pages! And then I typed it today cuz I didn't have a computer at home. Maybe it's to make up for the long almost 5 month wait for the last one. Ya I'm really sorry for that. Maybe its just cause I luv ya. OR Maybe its cuuz i'm really in the mood. OR MAYBE it's a christmas present for yall. Maybe its all of those._

Memories

Chapter 5: Forced Memories

I woke myself up screaming...again. I had that dream lots of times before. It's not really a dream, just a memory of that one day in 1919. Maybe it had something to do with next month being her birthday again.

My nightgown was all sweaty and the blankets were knotted up on the floor. I most likely had been sleep talking, too. Not that anyone would hear me. i still lived here, even if I didn't have to. I had no where else to go. I could go to Samuel's house I suppose, but I don't think I could stand living there and leaving this place.

I looked over at the picture frame, worn from taking out my picture so many times. I take it with me everywhere. Its the one picture of me with my family, all happy. This one was actually my papa's, the one that said, "They promised." on the back. I'd lost mine sometime last year. I looked at little Ali's beaming face and remembered the day it was taken.

~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~

_It was Christmas day. My family, Samuel, Collin, and I were at my house after Christmas dinner. Papa had invited them over for dinner this year. I wasn't to happy about that. Collin was a mean boy who loved hurting my feelings. I'd told Mama but she just said that is was probably just because he likes me so much. I knew this was NOT true. That was the day I stopped telling Mama things and started telling Alice. She was more understanding, she was my big sister._

_Mama said she wanted a Christmas family picture, so Samuel got up and got his big camera ready. We don't have a Camera. Then he ordered Collin to stay out of the way. I laughed at that._

_Mama and Papa stood in the back. Emmett stood on their left, Alice in the middle, and I on the right. Even if I was 8 and Ali was 9, I was still about a inch taller than her. I grinned at that._

_I was wearing my new blue dress Mama had made for me. She loved making dresses. Alice was wearing her new pink one, her long black hair flowing. She looked pretty in it. She had her doll I made her in her hand, too._

_I wanted to give her something special, for being such a good big sister. I had no money, so I couldn't buy anything, so I made her a doll. I made her hair out of black yarn so it would be the same color as Alice's. I tried to make her a dress, too, trying to copy Mama and make a nice little dress. It wasn't too good but it was special adn Alice seemed to like her._

_I looked at the camera and smiled, thinking of how happy we all were today. All together, a big happy family._

_~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~_

I wanted so much to go back to warn myself of how unhappy I'd be in the next few years. To tell myself to enjoy my time with Mama, Papa, Alice, and Emmett, because I soon wouldn't be able to. To warn myself that that big happy family would get to be a small unhappy family until it was only me left.

The unhappiness started with only a dream. A innocent dream of a dog dieing. But they got worse.

~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~

_I was being shook away be Alice. I blinked a few times and looked at the window. It looked like it was just now dawn. "Go away, Alice." I mumbled. We share a room so I don't know where I was telling her to go away to._

_"No. This is important." She whispered. Why is she whispering? I looked up at her . She looked pale and scared, her black hair askew. I sighed and slowly sat up._

_"What's wrong?" I asked her._

_"Ginger's gonna die."She said in the opposite tone of voice she'd use if it was a threat._

_"What!?" Ginger's my puppy. i found her last month and took her in. Papa hated her. I named her Ginger because her coat reminds me of gingerbread cookies._

_"Ginger's gonna..."_

_"I heard that. When?"_

_"7:30. Your going to go out the door to find her there dead on the porch."_

_"Wait. How do you know this?"_

_"I-I don't know. I sort of dreamed it, but..." _

_"Well it was just a dream then. So can I go back to sleep, now?"_

_"No. It wasn't a dream, really. It was clearer and seemed so much more real than any of my dreams have been."_

_"Are you sure, Alice?"_

_"Yes. I know it'll happen, Bella."_

_I sighed. i didn't really believe her and thought that she was just scared for Ginger because she had a nightmare and she loves that dog as much as I do. But I really didn't want Ginger to die and wanted to be sure that didn't happen._

_"How?" I asked._

_"I guess she's sick, poor girl. There was no attack wounds or anything. She looked peaceful, like she died asleep."_

_Ginger had looked sick when I found her but I guess I just assumed she's gotten better after I fed her and took better care of her. And all she ever does now days is sleep. I could tell Alice needed comforting._

_"Well, if she's sick then there's nothing we can do to stop her dieing, right."_

_She sighed and said, "No."_

_I hugged her. After a few minutes she said, "But it was so scary, Bella!"_

_"I know. It's okay now."_

_I was afraid all day long. Afraid to see little Ginger dead. Afraid of what to say when I did find her. I believed Alice, now, all the way. I know she wasn't joking. I didn't tell anyone. Neither did Alice. We were afraid of what they'd say and that they'd think we were crazy._

_I was especially afraid when Papa told me to go see if the mail had come yet. Our mail comes at night here, rather than in the mornings. And the clock says its exactly 7:30. Oh god!_

_I walked out the door, shutting it behind me, and sure enough there lay my little puppy, stiller than I'd ever seen anyone. And she did look peaceful, her cute little head resting on her paws. I gently stroked her back. She felt cold. I picked her up and carried her to the back yard._

_Then I went inside and first went upstairs to my room to get Ginger's favorite blanket. It was one of my old baby blankets, but I had a lot and this was her favorite place to sleep. It was the perfect size._

_Then I went downstairs and asked Papa for a shovel._

_"Why?" he asked._

_"Because I want to give my puppy a funeral."_

_Behind me I heard Alice whisper, "Told you." like she thought I really didn't believe her._

_"Funeral? It's dead?" He said, looking hopeful, the suspicious as he asked, "Wait how did she know?" He looked at Alice like she killed her or something. I knew Alice couldn't even hurt her. She wouldn't even kill the annoying fly that got stuck in our room last week and insisted on keeping the window open so it could fly out on its own and it was a very windy night and I got really cold. "Oh never mind." He said but looked like he was adding, "For now." in his head. "If you must, there's a shovel in the basement." He still looked weirdly at Alice. He's too suspicious._

_I went to find it and came back up and asked Alice if she was coming. Mama stopped us by the door and said, "Please not in the yard." I nodded._

_I decided to bury her under the big oak tree in the forest where I found her. Alice didn't care, she just looked worried, which I understood. "You know I believe you, right?"_

_"I thought so, but I wasn't sure." She said. After a while she said, "Why's this happening."_

_"It's happened before?"_

_"Yeah. But just little things, like when Samuel came to visit 2 weeks ago. I never needed to tell anyone. I was never brave enough to tell anyone before."_

_"Its okay. Maybe its just because your special. Anyone who doesn't believe it is too stupid to even peek at you before saying otherwise." Okay, i could've said other things that are more like threats that this was but I didn't think she wanted to hear me threaten people right now._

_She laughed (I have always loved her laugh.) and said, "Thanks, Bella."_

_I have never been to a funeral so I don't know what your supposed to do at one. Alice and I ended up burying Ginger wrapped up in her blanket and saying comforting words about how good she was. After all, hearing is the last sense to go, but I think hers was already gone._

_I walked home that night thinking everything would get better._

_~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~_

But everything turned out to get a lot worse. Two nights later Alice had another dream. This time it was serious.

She said there would be a car wreck a few houses down from us involving four cars and the deaths of three people. This time she told everyone, Emmett and me first. Emmett finally did believe her, but I could tell he was right on the edge of it. Mama got scared or her and Papa got more sispicious. Ali begged them to let her go out and try to stop it, saying the cause was that some child left a toy out in the road and one driver was going to swerve to miss it and another right behind it would somehow get it stuck in the wheel. They refused to let her, of course. She scared them. I tried to go out, too, saying I was going on a walk. He wouldn't let any of us out of his sight. He yelled at Alice for scaring her mother. He yelled at me for helping her. So I guess he thought it a joke, a prank of some kind. But this was to big for even Emmett to do. And Alice was crying and trying her best to get them to believe her and to let her go so she could save those peoples lives. Papa still thought is a joke, untill 2:47 when we heard the crash.

And there were four cars crashing into each other. I'd always thought those cars to be unsafe. When everything was still again, Papa ran out to try to help. Alice and I just stood there crying, already knowing three people were dead.

That night Papa yelled at Alice for a long time. He blamed her for causing it, for putting that toy there, and for killing those three innocent people. He screamed at her asking why she would do just a thing. And then there was me, laying in bed listening to all of it.

I went downstairs to try and help defend Alice. Mama was there too, crying like she was scared for her life. Alice was there too, crying for a totally different reason. Well maybe not so different.

"Please stop screaming. She couldn't have done this. We were both stuck here all day, remember? There was no way she could have got out and caused a big four car pile up without one of us noticing." I said.

Let's just say that was the night I decided never to let anyone know my real thoughts. I kept up to that promise to myself, except when I was extreamly sad. Like that day-well days-when I I found out the deaths of my family.

The next few days mama got scared and Papa wanted fer not to be and was willing to do anything to stop her fear. Mama seemed scared that little Alice would come telling everyone of her death and then she die exactly like Ali said. Papa got this idea of asking the mental asylum place to do tests to see if she was crazy enough for them to keep her in there. Alice didn't belong in there. I thought my parents crazy and stupid. Alice was special, not crazy. She had a gift. But they would no doubt not believe me so I kept my mouth shut. Ali no doubt thought it a curse, not a gift, now, anyway.

~~~~FLASHBACK~~~~

_"Ali, where are you going?" I asked her before Papa knew we were awake. he had never told me anything, yet. Alice looked so horrible, all pale and scared out of her witts._

_"I'm not sure. But I WILL see you again." She said the last part forcefull, making it sound like it was for her. Maybe it was for both of us, for comfort._

_"And I will help make sure of it." She nodded. Then out of nowhere she started crying and said, "I don't want this. I don't want to go there."_

_"I know. I believe you, you know. So does Emmett."_

_"Barely."_

_"But he loves you. And I love you. We'll figure something out."_

_"Me too."_

_"We sat there hugging each other. "I'll miss you." I had this weird feeling she wasn't coming back, wherever she was going. Almost in a answer, Papa yelled, "MARY ALICE SWAN! COME DOWN HERE NOW!"_

_She stood up, shaking. "Bye."_

_"Bye, bye, Ali."_

_And too soon I watched from my window, Papa lead Alice away, sycronising her every move as if making sure she doesn't kill anyone else. He's so stupid. Alice is so brave._

~~~~END FLASHBACK~~~~

All I wanted NOW was to go back and stop her from telling anyone about the car incident so this wouldn't have happened. I should have known it would have and just went and stopped it myself before she told Mama and Papa. I'm so stupid!

I don't cry as often as I used to now, realizing tears will not help anything. Tears won't let me go back and be with my family when we were still young and happy. But this is one of those times I do cry. I am crying.

My motto is Keep Their Memories Alive. So that means I have to keep alive, myself. I can't die in my own self misery. My motto for that is Keep Moving Forward. Keep moving through every thing in life.

That got me thinking. I've got NO one in the world. I'm all alone in this big world. No one loves me. Everyone who did is dead. I feel so small, so weak and useless.

And that got me running. Running through the trees. Focusing only on the running. Run it off, I thought. Keep on moving. I didn't know where I was running too. Just moving. Just running, calming running.

Even so, the last time I was running through this forest aimlessly like this was forced upon me. Seriously, what's with me and these forced memories today?

* * *

_Whoo Hoo! Finally back to the present? You guys like it better? Or do you like the memories best? There's like 3 in this chapter. Its kinda weird how the best things I write are really sad things._

_I still got my poll up. Please vote. Right now only 3 ppl have._

_Please review. They really make me happy. And thanks October'sLily510, Izabethelay13, and Iverlynn. They all reviewed. And thanks to all who's ever favorited or alerted or reviewed in the past, too._

**_Review reply to October'sLily510:_**

_I couldn't reply because you didn't long on so here's my reply:_

_Thanks for reviewing. I really like your idea, its good but it kinda changes the plot. But maybe I can mix your idea up with the plot a little. And I don't want to put it here because I don't want to ruin the rest of the story for everyone. Including you. You'll see. (okay now i have a urge to scream 'You'll all see." sadistically)_

_:D_

_MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!_

_Bye!_


	6. Meetings

Memories:

Chapter 6: Meetings

(BPOV)

I remember back last year in 1920 when Emmett died. There's no way around this one; either way, he has to be dead. It's been the worst year ever all by myself.

Well, remember back when I said Samuel's afraid of bears/hunting/woods and all of that? Well, Collin wanted to go hunting that day but Samuel forbad him. So he got mad and snuck out and came here to see if Emmett wanted to go, too.

See where this is going? Emmett couldn't turn down the offer and went with him. I thought he'd be safe. He was the one who knew all that stuff Papa taught him about hunting and animals and those things.

Well, about an hour later Collin comes running out of the woods looking horrified. Turns out they got attacked by this bear-Emmett first. He told Collin to run, so he did.

So my blame went totally to Collin-for coming here and for not staying to help Em. I figures up 3 ways:

They really did get attacked by the bear and it killed him.

He got away injured, but couldn't do much so forced to lay there and die.

Collin's lying and he actually murdered him.

Either way, my big brother's dead.

So I ran. I ran away from Collin, who I now hate more than ever, and away from the truth, into the woods. I searched for something, anything, to prove what Collin said, or in hopes of #2. I found nothing.

.~.~.~.~.

After running through the woods for what seemed like forever, tripping a googol times, and finally stopping, I decided I needed to do something today. I started walking in the direction I hoped was town. After waking about a hour more-or what seemed like it-I got there.

Now what, though? The sky was cloudy-it looked like it would start raining again any time now. And because it was cloudy, I couldn't see the sun to figure out what time it was that way.

I started walking-yes, walking. I was really hungry, so I looked for a restaurant with really low prices since I didn't have much money.

I walked by building after building and stopped once to ask a random man, "Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?"

"Yes, ma'am. It's 7:32." He said, looking down at his watch. (1)

"Thank you, sir." It explains why it's getting darker. (And see. I _can_ be nice.)

After a while I found a restaurant and bought some food with what little money I do have.

I should probably go see Samuel tonight while I'm out here. And pray that collin is not there.

I eat while I walk in the direction of their house. I haven't been there in around three months-maybe two. I wonder if he's worried. He's probably not. Probably forgot about me. Maybe he's too engrossed in his own self-pity wait, maybe Collin died! That's kind of a happy thou-

I interrupted my thoughts when I walked into something hard and, of course, fell on my butt, hitting my head in the meantime, muttering, "Ow!"

"Oh, I am so sorry, ma'am!" a voice said. It was a really nice voice, at that. It was melodious, like bells. Like really pretty bells.

I looked up and there's this really handsome pale guy. He had copper-y hair and gold eyes. Yes, gold eyes. Weird. (2) He offers his hand to help me up, then desides differently.

The guy says, "Did you hit your head?"

"Yeah I think I did. Thanks." I said sarcastically, getting up myself.

"I'm so sorry. I'm Edward and-" he broke off. Wonder why. The wind blew harder from the back now. Another sign of an upcoming storm. Ugh, I hope not. I don't want to walk home in the rain.

"I gotta go." He muttered fast. I looked up at his black eyes.

"Okay then. Hey, did your eye's change colors?" I said, but he was running away before I could finish. Wonder what his problem was. Did I do something? Probably, knowing me.

Putting that Edward guy aside for the moment, I started walking the how many ever remaining yards to Samuel's house. But the thing is, he didn't stay on the side lines of my thoughts for long. Who was he? Yeah, I know his name, but _who_ who was he? Why was he so nice? Why did he offer to help me up, but then change his mind? Why'd he run away? What'd I do? Did/how/why'd his eyes change colors? Why was he glaring so hard at me there at the end? Why-

My thoughts were interrupted (for the second time tonight) because of a sharp pain in my head.

.~.~.~.~.

(Collin's POV ((For the first and last time)))

I hid behind a bush as she got closer.

Her. Bella. They all always liked her more. Even my own father.

My mom died when I was two. So I don't know if she did or not. Probably.

Everytime they came to my house. Once, when I was three, I was playing with my dad. Then 'Uncle' Charlie came in and my own father forgot about me for the rest of the day and instantly picked _her_ up and started cooing the one year old.

Then, that one Christmas at their house. I just wanted attention. Dad yelled at me to go away while he hugged _Bella_ and her stupid blue dress and told her where to go for that stupid picture.

Everywhere, all the time, they cared more about her than me. All about her. But those were only small parts. All this, making her my enemy.

Even last week, when Dad died. The last words he said were, "Make sure Bella knows and stays safe." (3)

Yeah, I'm so gonna do that.

And now here she's walking down the sidewalk paved hill, oblivious to her surroundings. She'll never see this coming.

I jumped out, swinging hard. Though I slipped on a dang mud puddle from this rain, so it wasn't as hard as I would've liked. Still, she fell hard in the bushes by the sidewalk into only part of what I have planned.(4)

.~.~.~.~.

I watched as Bella came back to the conscious would around her and used a tree to pull herself up.

"C-Collin?" She stuttered, dazed.

"Yes, _Isa_bella. Who else?"

"W-what are you doing? Where's Samuel?" Samuel. My father. Of course she'd ask about him.

"He's dead. Now who's to rescue you?"

"Wha-? When? Dead?"

"Yes, dead. Last week. And you know what the last thing he told me? He said to protect perfect little Bella. Afraid I can't do that."

"Purfect? That's one heck of an overstatement."

I laughed. "It will be soon." She started silently crying here.

"Y-you don't _have_ to do this, you know."

"Oh, but I do, Mrs. Swan. I must get my revenge. You see, they all loved you, hated me. It's all _your_ fault."

"And I wonder why this is? You think it's my fault your-" Even at a time like this, she found a way to smart off.

"Yes, it is. Everything that happens here tonight, you deserve. Every bit!" I said screaming the last part, and acted. All my growing fury, I put behind this swing.

My bat connected with her head with a sickly 'crack!' making her fall backwards and roll into the road.

This was not part of the plan, so I went out of the bushes to get her out of the road.

But over the hill came a car going about forty-five miles per hour. When the driver, a middle aged man, saw her he slammed the brakes but didn't stop soon enough.

Me, standing in the sidelines, probably seeming horrified, was watching the while thing. I didn't mean for _this_ to happen.

I watched the car hit the unconscious body of my life-long enemy. She flew into the air, twirling a few times, then landing hard on her head and back on a big rock, blood pooling.

The driver and passenger of the car got out, the passenger, a lady, screaming. Me? I ran the heck out of there before anyone could see me.

Isabella Marie swan was dead. There is no likely way she survived that.

I didn't plan that. I swear I didn't. I _did_ plan on the death of my enemy. Does it really matter how?

I ran away from there not feeling at all guilty.

Like I said, she deserved it.

* * *

A/N:

(1): Did they have watches in 1921?

(2): I wasn't very descriptive here. Sorry but I didn't feel like it. Everyone reading this knows what he looks like and who he is.

(3): That's his stressor by the way, if any of you were wondering. His father's death.

(4): I sooo wanted to put in an evil laugh here. But I resisted the urge. It would throw of the serious mood.

I enjoyed writing this chapter. Very much. I loved writing Collin's POV. I liked making her suffer. Mwahahahaha!

This is what you guys were waiting for, though, right? I had to get past all the boring dramatic flashback crap before the good stuff could come. Sorry for those of you who thought it was getting boring. Hoped ya'll like this one.

As you may have guessed, getting hit by a car won the poll. So why's Collin in there? Well, he didn't _do_ what the other option was so HA! I began thinking, what the point of Collin was. I have this minor character that only is mean to Bella and was there with Emmett. He needed to do more to even have a point in this story. So I did this. Hope no one's mad.

I don't like the middle part very much. I don't think I wrote it very well. I like the last best.

I have an outline for the next 2 chapters ready. Hopefully I'll write them faster than I did this one.

Sorry for the POV switched. Sorry for the long wait. Was it worth it? Tell me what you thought. Please review.

Next chapter's Edward's POV. Sorry if you don't like view point changes. I think its necessary. It gets back to Bella's POV in chapter 8.

Oh, one last thing. Do you guy's have any idea's? Please tell me if you do.


	7. Savin' Her

Memories:

Chapter 7: Saving Her

(Edward's POV)

Three years.

It's been three years.

Three years since my life changed forever. Since I've seen my mother and father. Since I've had a heartbeat. Since I've been human. Three years since I've walked this world normally, not hearing everyone's crazy thoughts, not seeing in high-depth, not waking unnaturally fast…not wanting to eat everyone I come across. It's been three years since I have had even a tiny grip on my life; since I've known what it means…and since it's held any purpose.

For three years I've been like this: scientifically dead-no heartbeat, deathly cold-, able to hear every person's thoughts, skin like diamonds-hard and sparkles in the sunlight-, inhumanly perfect senses, strength, and speed, attracted to blood. I'm what you call a vampire: cursed to walk the Earth forever, until someone kills us, damned to hell for eternal torment.

Of course, Carlisle doesn't believe that. He thinks that if we're good here on earth, when we die-presuming we do-, we'll go to heaven, too, like the humans. That is, if we go anywhere. Maybe our souls will just stay with our pile of ashes for the rest of eternity. No one really knows what happens to vampires after death. Alas, no one knows what happens to humans post-death, either. There is only one way to kill vampires; you have to cut them up and burn the pieces, which is very hard to do. Our diamond-hard skin can-as far as I know-be broken only by other vampire's teeth. We don't have fangs, by the way.

Carlisle was the first of us and the one who turned me three years ago. He, probably based on his beliefs, is a vegetarian vampire; therefore, we are too. We call ourselves 'vegetarians' because we don't drink human blood, only animal blood. Instead of red, we have gold eyes.

There of five of us. First there's Carlisle Cullen. He's the leader; he was born in London, England in the 1600s. His father was a Church of England minister, ironically. He's blonde, a doctor, compassionate, and Esme's his mate.

Then he changed me, three years ago, here in Chicago. I was dying of the Spanish Influenza, and my father and mother already had. I'm seventeen, have weird copper-colored hair, and can read people's minds-vampire and human alike. He changed me because my mother and father had already died, and by changing I wasn't leaving anyone, and he thought it a favor. And my mother told him to in a way.

Esme is Carlisle's mate. Carlisle changed her after she jumped off a cliff after her baby died and lived-barely. She's very caring and loving; she's our mother, figuratively.

Then Carlisle had the idea I was lonely in the world and needed a mate, like the rest of the coven. So he found Rosalie Hale on night and decided to change her because for one, she was dying and he took pity on her, and two, he thought she'd make a good mate for me. Well, I kind of hate her in a way; she's the one of us I dislike most. Sure she's beautiful and all, but…she's kind of a stuck-up b*tch, if you know what I mean.

She found Emmett being attacked by a bear in the woods around Chicago one night. She thought he was cute or something because he looked vaguely like one of her friend's kid. Rosalie didn't trust herself to change him so she carried him all the way to Carlisle. That would have to be torture for her; I mean, he was bleeding and she was only sixteen months old at the time.

And that's everyone. There hasn't been anyone new yet this year. Oh, and by the way, we have to have a façade if we're going to live amongst humans. Right now, Carlisle and Esme are pretending to be the adoptive parents of Emmett, Rosalie, and me.

Right now, I was walking the outskirts of Chicago, Illinois for no reason really. I just got bored arguing with Rosalie. I guess my excuse for this was that this was a great test to test my self-control.

And just then some pretty girl with long brown hair and sad brown eyes walked right into me, saying, "Ow!" when she hit the ground. It looked like she hit her head, too. Oh, no, I wasn't paying attention.

My politeness instincts got a hold of me and I muttered the first thought in my head, "Oh, I'm so sorry, ma'am!" She just looked up at me, thoughtfully.

I tried to read her mind, then, but was shocked. I couldn't read her mind! I've never been able to not read someone's mind. Did I lose the gift? There wasn't anyone else around, so I couldn't very well test that.

And to make sure she didn't have a concussion or anything, I asked, "Did you hit your head?"

"Yeah I think I did. Thanks." She said sarcastically, sitting up. She looked fine, actually. I stuck my hand out in an offer to help her up, but decided otherwise. She'll feel the cold and suspect things. She got up herself. Okay, now I feel rude.

"I _am_ sorry. I'm Edward and-" The wind started blowing from behind the girl, tossing her blood's scent at me-something I hadn't noticed until now. And let me tell you, her blood smelled amazing. It was better than any other person's blood had ever smelled. The aroma was incredible-it was just like flowers…like freesias.

It took every ounce of my energy not to attack her right then. Her blood smelled so good, and would taste even better to my now scorching throat. So warm, soothing going down my throat. Wait! NO! Stop, stop, stop it! What would Carlisle think? Go, run now! Do it for Carlisle and the girl. For Carlisle.

"I gotta go." I muttered fast. Then I turned around and ran. It took every ounce of my remaining energy not to run faster than normal people.

I heard the girl say, "O…Kay then. Hey, did your eye's change colors?" But I was already gone, running a little over the speed of Olympic track runners to reply. So my eyes were black, then? That's very likely. Vampires' eyes change color when hungry.

I turned the corner behind some shop, and then ran as fast as possible. And I was the fastest runner of the coven so it was pretty darn fast.

About 20 miles away, I stopped, and rested in a dark alley somewhere. Okay, so vampires don't get tired, run out of breath, or anything physical like that. But we can get mentally tired, like stressing our powers or self-control…like I just did. So here I was leaning against a wall somewhere in Illinois, breathing heavily. That was literally an 'old habits die hard' type of thing.

Then I had a thought. I had acted really strangely around that girl. It seemed my duty to go back and make sure she hadn't assumed anything and spread rumors. Then we would have to move or possibly kill her as to not get the Volturi involved.

So I ran back, reluctantly. I promised myself I would not get close enough to her that I'd lose control-or almost, like before.

But wait. How am I gonna do that if I can't read her mind? Uh…watch, and listen to what she says. But that means I have to get a little closer, if I'm going to be watching her.

I got back to that place where we met and started listening around at other people's thoughts. Nothing. So I ran a few miles in the direction she was traveling, and then listened for anyone who might have been thinking about her or meeting her at the moment.

And then I found this guy apparently named Collin. He called her Bella, and he was watching her pull herself up off the ground with a tree while holding her head. He was thinking, very determinedly; about all the different ways he was going to torture her tonight. And some were pretty horrible.

I had to get over there fast, to try and save an innocent live before this Collin maniac ended it.

When I got there, I was overwhelmed with her scent again, so I had to retreat a few spaces. Now I couldn't really see them, because they were behind some of those bushes on the other side of the road, but I knew they were there.

This car was coming down the road. But then all of a sudden Bella, the girl, was thrown backwards out of the bushes and into the road, hitting her head on the paving.

My first instinct was to jump out in front of that car to save her life. How could I not save this innocent girls life? She did nothing, and I, of course, had to get involved. So why shouldn't I use everything in my power to try and stop that car.

But then I stop and think rationally. If I blocked that car, people would defiantly notice. They-including Bella- would assume things, and we would have a really big problem. We would have to leave this area and everyone would really be enraged at me, causing more problems because they really like this spot. And we would possibly have to end a few lives if anything serious happened.

So I decided. NO interventions.

I'm smart enough to know, when that car hits that girl, there's going to be a lot of blood. And with her blood, I won't be able to stand it, and with three witnesses, that would be a really bad scenario.

So I ran.

I heard the car wheels squealing, trying to stop. The screams of the women in the car. Heard the car hit Bella's crumbled form, and then heard the thud of her hitting the ground.

Then I smelled it, the flow of Bella's warm, red, delicious blood. I was so temped to stop and go back, to drink her blood without really caring about Collin and the people in the car.

But I stopped myself and continued running.

I knew that wreck was bad, horrible even, so when I heard the very faint thumping of Bella's heart, I felt very surprised she lived through all that.

Then I felt Carlisle was near, heard his thoughts and smelled his scent.

At that moment I had a rush of emotions. I felt all of this was my fault, and mine alone. I could've stopped that car from hitting Bella and that would have stopped her dying, because she had to be dying and she could've probably been okay, with just a concussion. But I had to be reasonable and let the car hit her. I was the cause of an innocent girl's death. That was no better than if I had bit her there when we first met.

Wait. I just had a brilliant idea. Maybe I can still save her life-in a matter of specking. I feel so responsible, so I'm going to do all in my power now. It's better than nothing.

I ran over to Carlisle, who was running this direction. He probably smelt the blood, too.

"Carlisle!" I yelled to him. Yes, yelled, even though he could hear me fine if I just said it.

"Edward. What happened?"

"Car wreck. Some guy pushed this girl in front of a car. She's dying. Can you change her?"

_A/N: Hey. I don't really like this chapter. I feel it's rushed and just a bunch of rambles. I like the beginning though. I hope you like it though. I don't know if I'm going to have to write another chapter in his point of view yet, or not. Next chapter is back in Bella's point of view. I think I'll like it better._

_And this before Alice and Jasper come if any one was wondering._

_Hey, Sarah, remember I texted you those first three sentences? _

_And I'm writing this on the night before my eight grade graduation and the last day of school. So that proves…something. I'm not sure what but it proves something, okay. _

_Oh! And By the way, I'm in color guard! Whoo. So I'm going to band camp the last three weeks of July so I probably won't get to update much at all then._

_Sorry if I have grammar mistakes I didn't notice. Like if I got Vs and Fs mixed up. Correct me, I don't care._

_Ooh, I almost forgot.** You guy's should go read my best friend's story Turn It Off**. Her name's Izabethelay13 (AKA Sarah Something-I-Won't-Tell. But if you know pig Latin, I'm pretty sure you can figure out her middle name) It's really good._

_(Happy now, Sarah?)_


	8. Awakening

_A/N: OKay, I'm soo sorry this wasn't out sooner. I kinda forgot I hadn't updated it yet and it's just but waiting in my flashdrive for a few months now. But I finished typing it like two days before band camp of something like that and these last months have just been crazy. And I only get a chance to log on fanfiction on Wednesdays. That's the only time, and well, I had other stuff to do. So I'm really sorry people. _

_If I made some sort of mistake or something, please tell me. _

Memories:

Chapter 8: Awakening.

(Bella's POV)

_Two and a half days later._

I opened my eyes to the bright and clear world around me. Above me was, well, the ceiling. I could see every crack, hole, dent, shade of brown, and every little detail about that wood. There was a light in the middle of it; the bulb was shining with all eight colors of the rainbow. There are eight, right? Well, there were eight colors shining off that light.

Wait. Where am I?

I sat up quickly, turning around so my legs dangled off the hospital-like cot I was laying on. Keyword there being quickly. It was really, really fast. But nothing blurred; I was as much detail as normal. That made it seem slow, but it was really fast.

In that second, I noticed two things.

The first was the room. It was rectangular with cream colored paint on the walls and the floor was also wood, but lighter than the ceiling and in little patterns of squares. There was a door on the side of the room I was facing, and two windows on the opposite wall.

The second was that I was not alone.

There were five other people standing in the room with me, on the side with the door. They were all really, really pretty, but they were all staring right at me.

The most unnerving thing about this, though, was their expressions, and formation. Two of the three men were standing in front of the others in defensive positions, as if I was some serial killer ready to jump the others any second now. Hehe, yeah, I'm so gonna do that.

I found the fact that I could be dangerous unbelievable, so I came to the conclusion that there was something else in the room. So I double-checked behind me, but there was nothing there, or out the windows.

I took that moment to scrutinize every one of them.

There was a man standing off to the side a little. He was blond with gold eyes. He was studying me with a curious but still cautious look, like he was ready to bombard me with questions.

Then the woman standing closer to him was smiling at me. She looked nice and welcoming but wary at the same time.

There was another girl standing behind the two men out in front. She was really pretty, easily the most beautiful one of them. She was tall with long golden blonde hair and the same eyes everyone there seemed to have.

One of the guys out in front (the one to the right) was the most handsome guy in the room. He had pretty reddish-brown hair that made it look copper. He looked guiltier that the others, something I didn't understand. But, heck, I didn't understand why some looked ready to attack me, either.

Speaking of whom, the guy standing beside the other guy, in tense defense position, looked ready to turn that defense into offense at any second, though I couldn't see the necessity of it. I mean, what could I do to them? I thought back, trying to see if I had ever done something dangerous or something of the sort to explain these unknown people's reaction. I got nothing. Seriously, I couldn't remember a thing. It scared me, a lot. Well, this guy had wavy, black hair and had a lot of muscle. He looked like he really could rip my head off. That scared me a lot, too. The weirdest thing about him though, was that he looked oddly, vaguely familiar. Like, his familiarity defined the word vague. I tried remembering where I'd seen him before, if I'd seen him before, but got nothing, again. It got me really, really afraid.

Distract yourself. Oh, god, I don't even know who I am! Wait, no, don't worry about that yet.

"Who are you?" I asked. My voice was all high and tinkly, like bells.

"Who are _you_?" The big curly head guy in the front retorted.

"I asked first!" I immediately snapped, making everyone tenser. But I didn't really know the answer to his question, anyway.

Then he growled at me, like really _growled_. And my fear must have been clearly on my face, because the other guy in front of the others said, "Stop, Emmett, your scaring her."

Okay, that annoyed me, though I'm sure that wasn't his intention. I said, "I was _not_ afraid of _him_." That made the Emmett dude glare at me. I glared back.

"Then who were you afraid of?"

"No one. And nothing."

"Sure you weren't. You're just defensive."

"I am not!"

"Are t-"

"Enough! Edward, stop arguing with her!" The blonde guy said. He must be the authoritative figure here. Like the leader, or the father or something.

Edward nodded.

He was about to say something but I interrupted him, "Now tell me who you people are. And where I am. And why I am here." And who I am.

He, the leadr guy said, "We will answer all your questions eventually. But, first-"

"Oh, no. What are you gonna do to me?" I interrupted. I'm sure you can understand why. I wake up in a unfamiliar place with weird people and can't remember anything at all. That alone is mysterious enough. But they don't answer any questions of mine and the leader guy says something that sounds so much like he was gonna say 'but, first, we have something to do' or something of the nature, and that doesn't add to the creepiness at all, so I couldn't help but interrupt.

"We're not _going_ to do anything." He said, hands out in a 'we come in peace' motion. Gosh, what's that mean? Did they already do something? "I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen." What kind of doctor? Like the medical type? Or the evil scientist type who experiments on innocent teenagers?

Then everyone else introduced themselves.

The nice woman with Carmel-colored hair was Esme Cullen.

And the blonde girl with the I'm-Better-Than-You face on is Rosalie Hale.

And everyone else's names I know.

Then Carlisle said, "Now before all the more complicated questions, you must be very thirsty." That was more of a statement than a question.

What? I'm not thirsty. That is, until I thought about it. And when I did, I noticed I was thirsty. It was an almost unbearable, excruciating thirst, like I have been wondering the desert and haven't drunk anything for a year and then someone comes along and taunts me with water but doesn't let me have any. That's what it felt like. I gasped and winced and my hand naturally clutched my throat as if to stop the internal pain from the inside. Emmett and Edward, who had slowly become more relaxed, were back in their tense ready to pounce stance.

Then Rosalie seemed to realize that they didn't know my name yet and distracted me. "Wait. What's her name?" She asked someone.

"Yeah, what is your name?" Edward asked me, "You never told me before." Okay, what's that mean?

"Darn." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"I-I don't know."

"You don't' know what?"

Okay, time to admit. "I don't know my name."

Everyone got confused looks on their faces. Emmett said, "Whaaat?"

"I don't know my name, okay? Jeez."

"You never knew your name, or you don't remember your name?" Carlisle said. It was so obvious he was curious. He looked like he should have a clip board charting down my every word excitingly.

"The last one. But maybe both, I don't know."

I tried again to remember something, anything, but got nothing. Seriously, nothing. I tried to remember. I did. I got nothing. As in nothing at all. Like you try and remember something, but only get darkness. That's not what happened. I got nothing, no blackness or nothing like that. It scared me like nothing else has scared me. But that's not saying much since I can't remember other times I've been scared. But it probably is greater than other times. Am I just not trying hard enough? Am I not doing it right? Will I ever remember anything?

"Really! Do you remember anything? What's the first thing you remember?"

"Opening my eyes to your ceiling?" My fact seemed more like a question.

"No. Before that."

"Nothing."

Edward said, "Really? You don't remember the car crash? Or that guy? Or meeting me? Or wherever you were before that?"

"NO! Okay? I've said that." What was he talking about? What car crash? What guy? There's lots of guys in the world. I think. I'm pretty sure. And I remember meeting you today. Did we meet before that?

Carlisle continued, sounding so excitingly curious that it was annoying "You don't remember the pain? The transformation?"

I shook my head. "I don't know what any of you are talking about. Care to explain?"

Carlisle looked uneasily at Edward. It looked like the shared some little private conversation. Were they telepathic or something? Gosh, I wish they'd tell me what the heck is going on already.

"Oh, for the love of-. You're a vampire, girl." Rosalie said.

That froze me in mid-thought, well mid-everything, really. All I could do was sit there in shock, staring at her. "What?" I asked, stupidly, looking to Carlisle for confirmation. He nodded. Wait. How do I know I can trust them? There's a lot of evidence against not trusting them. But, well, there's a lot that says to trust them too. They're all I've got, apparently. I don't remember anyone or where I live, so who am I to go to?

"I don't believe you!" I said stubbornly.

"It's the truth. I swear. Wa-"

"I'm a vampire?" I questioned, eyebrows raised, "As in, I drink people's blood, have fangs, burn to death in sunlight, have no reflection, and live in cemeteries, that kind of vampire?"

"Well, most of those are just myths. But-"

"The blood thing. It's not a myth is it?" I asked warily, dreading the answer.

"No, but if-"

"So you're saying I have to go kill people to survive?"

I heard Edward say under his breath, "You interrupt a lot." I glared at him.

"Well, no. There is another way. If you choose to follow our ways, you could drink animal blood instead."

"Hell, no, I don't wanna kill people."

"Good."

"Well, what about the I-Die-In-Sun thing?"

"There is some truth in that." Carlisle said. I stared at him in horror. If I die in the sun, then obviously I can't go in the sun. But that can't happen! I love the sun! Summer's my favorite season, and I hate rain, winter, and cold and wet places/things.

…Oh come on! I remember that but not personal things! Like people, or experiences? That's crap. I don't care about the little things! I wanna remember everything else important.

Edward laughed. I glared at him (again). He said, "Relax. You won't die in the sun. You just can't go out in it. Out, that is, in public places were the human can see. There are laws about that."

"Why?"

"Because we sparkle in sunlight." Sparkle? That sounds rather stupid. Who wants to sparkle? It kinda ruins the 'I'm a big, strong, dangerous vampire who can kill you.' effect, doesn't it? So I just nod because there's no way to prove against it because it's nighttime right now.

Esme, who hadn't spoken yet, I assume felt the need to say something, "I want you to know you are welcomed in this family. If there is anything I can do to help you feel more belonged, or safe, or if there are any questions I might can answer, just say something, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks." I smiled at her. This totally confirmed the 'nice, kind, and welcoming' personality I'd suspected her to have.

You know, I did finally believe them. There was nothing against it. And there was the thirst; that proved something, yes? And thinking about it again made me actually feel and recognize the pain.

I winced again, biting my lip (which hurt more than it seemed it should) and Carlisle quickly said, "Let's save further talk for later. You need to go hunting. I don't know how you can stand it." He sounded sympathetic, but his last words there actually made it hurt worse.

"Edward? Emmett? Take her hunting." He said to them. I wonder what hunting is? It better have something to do with thirst relievers and like be where we go hunt animals to drink. That's what it sounds like, if it's not the normal definition of hunting, which seems like a rather stupid and random thing to do at this time. And if it's not, then I'm really gonna feel like hurting something.

Then I felt worried as they led me out the door. What if this is a big lie? What if I'm not good at this? What if I can't do it? What if I have to resort to killing people? What if I screw this up? What if I screw this up and Edward and Emmett laugh at me? Okay, that last one wasn't as big as the others, but still. Who wants to be known as The Worlds Only Vampire Who Screws Hunting Up? I don't.

Well, anyway, I followed the guys out the door in anticipation. I didn't have a clue what was going to happen next. That's awesome in books and stuff, but not so great in real life. I left thinking about how my new life (new in two different ways, apparently) would play out now.

_A/N: New chapter! Whoo. Anyway, remember she doesn't remember everything else that's happened earlier in the story, which is pretty obvious to figure out. Why doesn't Emmett recognize her? You'll figure that out later. Gosh, after writing this, I'm really wishing Jasper was here. Really. He (and Alice) will be later on. I promise. _

_Please review! Tell me what you think? Got any ideas? Will Bella and Edward get together? If so, how will they start out? Will Emmett recognize Bella? Or vise versa? Will she ever get her memories back? What do you think?_


	9. Bella

Memories:

Chapter 9: Bella

(Emmett's POV)

"This won't…hurt, will it?"

I laughed, "Maybe just a little."

Two glares were sent my way.

Me and Edward were taking the new girl hunting for the first time. It was really funny, because she kept asking these ridiculous questions that I can help but answer sarcastically. It's just so funny! You can tell she's really nervous when she has absolutely no reason to be. Hunting is instinctual; you don't think about it when you're doing it. She has nothing to worry about.

That girl has some amazing anger management skills for a newborn. It's like she's about to go off the edge but then calms herself at the last moment and goes back to asking questions. That's really, really good for a vampire like her. Almost eerily so. If I were her, I would have already torn down five or more trees.

"It absolutely does not hurt in anyway. If your talking about yourself, that is. On the other hand, it do-"

"_Don't_ tell me!" She interrupted Edward. For the like fortieth time. I hope its annoying him. He's fun to annoy. Another glare was directed at me.

We walk a while in silence. I dunno why Edward was making us walk, as in human speed. It's really boring, and the newbie's really missing out. Maybe he's giving her enough time to ask all those questions.

He abruptly stops and says, "We're here."

"We are?" She says in a nervous squeaky tone.

I just had to risk my life and laugh at that.

She suddenly turns around and starts yelling at me. I was sorta afraid she'd go all berserk and attack me.

"SHUT UP!"

I impulsively, and rather stupidly, replied with, "Make me, Shorty."

She starts growling and I realize just how retarded I am. Then abruptly she stops and a mischievous grin replaces her snarl. I have the feeling I should be even more afraid for my life.

"Oh I will…Emmy." Her smile grew wider as she saw how annoyed that made me.

"Do not call me that!"

"Too bad…Emmy."

"Stop it."

"I said too bad."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"Still no! I am-"

"Please!" I say giving her my pouty face.

"I-Oh, Alright!"

I smile smugly and receive yet another glare from Edward for interrupting his little hunting speech.

He starts it up again. "Hey. Don't worry. It's easy I promise."

I droned the rest out. I've heard it before, don't really need to hear it again. I've been doing this for a little over a year now. I should be able do to this fine.

But I really droned it out because when Bella and I were talking, I'd had the sense of extreme déjà vu. I felt like I'd heard exactly that before, and by the same person, too, if that alone didn't make things complicated enough.

I didn't know this girl, did I? I don't remember ever meeting her. At least not in this life. How many girls had I ever even met? She wasn't that girl I almost killed a few months ago. No, she had red hair. She most defiantly wasn't that fat blonde girl from that store.

Recognizing her wasn't getting anywhere. So I focused on the words. Where have I heard them? Has Rose said that? Yeah, I think she's said that last part before, but that's probably not what I'm thinking of. Who's called me Emmy?

Then it hits me. Bella. My little sister I left in the cabin. That's who the girl reminds me of. Bella always, always called me Emmy when she wanted to annoy me. She always gave into my pouty face too. Not once did she ever not give in seconds after I pulled it out. She's said all of that so many times I practically defined her with them.

But Bells can't be here, can she? No, that's stupid. You just want her here 'cause you miss her so much. Bella is back home, in the cabin, where you left her.

_How would you know? It's been a whole year! You don't know what could've happened to her._

Shut up.

I look at the girl. Could she possibly even have the chance of being my sister?

Comparing her, the newborn vampire closing her eyes to listen as Edward instructed, and my little sister Bella through the immensely cloudy memories was hard. One had clear perfect features, one I could barely see. I remember her eyes best, those big brown eyes only loosing their sad, innocent look when glaring at me. And his girl here, her eyes were bright red, like all newborns, but the shape was the same. I think.

But lots of people had the same shape of eyes.

She had the same color hair. Granted, it was shinier and prettier because of the venom enhancements, it still would've been the same rich wavy brown.

But lots of people had the same color hair.

Part of my brain noticed Edward and Be…and the girl take off running.

Edward. Oh, God, I hope he was too engrossed in teaching the girl this stuff that he wasn't paying attention to my mind.

But with minds like vampires, you can focus on fifty things and notice every detail and have room for more.

Vampire. I could not imagine my little sister as a vampire at all. The thought was just so weird and crazy, and I was so used to think of her as my short, lovable, defenseless little sister. Thinking of her as a vicious, strong, blood sucking creature was absurd really.

_Why are you even trying? Stop thinking of the new girl as her. It's not that big of a chance, you know._

There is still a chance though. Where did Edward find her? On the road by the woods on the south side of town. Our cabin was in the woods on the south side. She looks mildly like Bella, and she doesn't remember anything about her past, not even her name. I'll admit, I wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't Bella, there's plenty of room in there for it not to be, but you gotta admit, it's a little suspicious.

I thought I might as well go hunt, as that's probably what Carlisle meant when he told me to come.

I caught three deer. As to not bore you with details, I'll just say, they tasted the same as ever. Soothing, yes; the best thing ever, no. Kinda hard to say that about any animal after tasting human blood. I won't go into that either. So I screwed up once, that's better than Edward. I'm pretty sure everyone here's messed up at least once. Except maybe Carlisle, I don't really know about him.

I met back up with Edward and B-the girl. Stop trying to call her Bella! Stop it! Let's just call her Her. Heh, yeah.

Her was a total mess. (Yeah, that sounds wrong. Let's stop.) By mess I mean she had blood everywhere and her blue dress had a few scratches in it. I just laughed; it's funny how newbies do this. Yes I laughed at myself too. Not including Her, I'm the youngest one here.

We were going back to the house (at a faster speed, thankfully) and we were almost there when I asked Her, "Are you sure you don't remember your name? 'Cause you really need a name."

She shakes her head, fast and jerky, frowning. You can tell how much this bothers her, not knowing her name. She's scared too, but who wouldn't be scared in her position?

We've been gradually slowing this whole time, but completely stopped when Edward said, "Her name's Bella."

"Bella? Really?" I said, shocked. So, it really is my sister? Wait, no, don't get ahead of yourself. There's plenty of girls named Bella. Right?

"You know my name?" She said with a blank face.

He nodded. "According to that Collin kid who'd wanted to kill her."

"COLLIN!" I shouted. Collin tryed to kill her!

"You knew my name and you DIDN'T TELL ME!" Bella shouted.

That's when Edward had two seriously ticked off vampires on his case.

That's when Bella lost her unnerving calmness and went into her crazy newborn temper tantrum state.

That's when Edward got attacked.

That's when I had an immense urge to sit back and laugh at him, but I, being the amazingly nice person I am, decided to help him.

A/N: Hehe, yeeeaaah…..That's all! Hope you don't hate me! Bye.

PS: My best friend Izabethelay 13 gave me the idea for this chapter! Thanks! You guys should appriciate how she inspired me to write this at all.


	10. Sociably Awkward

Memories

Chapter 10: Sociably Awkward

"_Chicago._" I thought walking down the street, "_Chicago, _Chicago_, Chi-ca-go_." I hoped maybe repeating the name itself might jog something hidden deep in my mind. I had searched and searched, always getting nothing. I spend my nights exploring my brain for even the tiniest aspect of an idea of what my life was like before. Nothing was working.

I came to find time past very quickly when you're a vampire. Since my incident with Edward and Emmett in the forest, days flew by. Soon it was a week, then another, and soon, the accumulating weeks lead on to months.

And here I stood, four months later.

Life (or whatever) for me was over all pretty okay. I was getting used to how crazy it had become. Well, I assumed my life before was pretty average, but there's not much crazier than being undead.

Physically, my life was great. I'm really starting to get comfortable with all the enhanced speed, strength, etc. Seriously, you don't know how fun and simply amazing it is to be able to do the things I can do.

Also, since my 'incident' as I call it, there hasn't been a single thing wrong with my control. No out of control longings for blood. No hormonal imbalances. No more attacking Edward. You name it, I _didn't_ have it. And that was good, scarily good they say. Like I'm a little vampire prodigy.

But they're still paranoid. They still won't let me go anywhere alone. They have, thankfully, let me go out into the city surrounded by people. Yes, of course it was hard at first. I got over it. But, like I said, they wouldn't have let me go alone. Today, Edward is with me.

Mentally, my life sucked. As I have said earlier, I still have no trace of my eighteen years prior to that of four months ago. There had to have been something there. It's not like I was just created as an eighteen year old in some lab someplace.

Today is the start of a new quest: The 'Return to Bella her Memory' Quest. I had wanted it to sound cool when I named it. The other option was 'Get Bella her Memory Back'. Which you have picked? We've abbreviated it down to The RBMQ.

What is The RBMQ? For the last four months, everyone's focus has been on getting me adapted to my new vampire life. Since I proved myself pretty much adapted, everyone's started focusing more toward helping me get my memories back, if it's even possible. Carlisle says, everyone else's old memories would fade, too, if they didn't think of them a lot. Therefore, since I obviously haven't thought of them, there may be no way of getting them back.

Today Edward and I are walking around town so I can look around and see if there might be anything to spark up a memory. Anything that may seem a bit familiar. So far: nothing. Like always.

And lastly, sociably I'm pretty awkward. Really the only person I could freely open up to is Esme. But we don't really talk that much.

I dislike Rosalie; she dislikes me. So we're all good in that aspect.

It'd be kinda awkward to sit down and have a nice friendly chat with Carlisle, you know?

With Edward and Emmett, it's a little complicated. I don't really mind talking with either of them, but, I guess, I made it sort of awkward. Yep that's me: socially awkward Bella.

Maybe you'd understand, since my 'incident', it makes me sort of self-conscious talking to him. I mean, I did attack him. I think he forgives me and all, but it's still a little embarrassing.

He thinks I'm interesting, I think. One night, he voiced that he couldn't read my mind. He has a bit of a fascination trying to figure that out.

And Emmett, well there's nothing really wrong with him. He's really nice and treats me like a sister, but that's the problem. He acts like he's meet me before, and I had no idea how he was. He's always going on about things we used to do and stuff. I'd love it, but there's really no proof I am his sister. He says my locket is proof. Although I do admit the boy in the picture does look a little like him, and one of the girls like me, without my memories to match up with his, there is no solid proof his Bella and this Bella are the same girl. In my opinion.

That is why he is the 'cofounder' of the RBMQ. He wants to prove I _am_ that Bella and his sister _is_ alive, as much as I want my memories back. So I let him.

I hate to say this, but RBMQ was coming off as a huge waste of my time. All I was doing was walking (yes, _walking_. It was terrible.) around aimlessly, attempting to focus solely on buildings and scenery, and not all these people walking around too.

Us vampires have really big minds, meaning we can think of loads of things at one time, meaning we get distracted very easily on things were thinking about everywhere else in our mind. That means, when one is doing absolutely nothing but looking at random things and there's nothing else to think of that you haven't already thought of 10 million types, we tend to get a bit ADHD, you could say.

So, I was really, really, bored. This is not a good thing.

After another twenty minutes or so, I was about to explode. Figuratively of course, don't get worried.

Then Edward came to my rescue.

"Let's head back, yes?"

"Yes!" I quickly answered.

He chuckled. "Excited?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm…bored."

"I see."

I didn't have a response to that, but I wasn't about to stop talking. I look in his gold eyes, trying to think of something to say. What color were his eyes before they were gold? I tried to decide what would look best. I think green eyes would match him, with his copper-y hair. What color were my eyes before they were red?

Then I remembered something. I had never apologized for my 'incident'. I had ignored it at the beginning, the same way I had ignored Edward. After that I just…remembered to forget to remember. How childish of me.

"Sorry." I muttered. I knew he could hear me.

"For what?" He asked, giving me a tiny look of confusion.

"For…well, um, attacking you." I said, awkwardly. There goes my social awkwardness again.

"Wasn't that my fault?"

Well, yes it was, but admitting that would be a bit rude. "…Even so, I shouldn't have done that. I overreacted badly."

"You couldn't help it. You were a newborn. You still are."

"I think I could've." I said calmly, but narrowing my eyes a little. I hated it when people talked to me like weak, or uncontrollable. And yes I do realize getting mad over that isn't helping anyone's views.

He didn't respond right away. We were still walking back. We were almost to the vacant part of town where we silently agreed to start running back. Or at least, I hope we did, because I was going to take off with or without him. Walking, especially surrounded by a bunch of humans (that I try really hard not to think about), was literally the most dreadful thing I ever remember doing.

"I believe I am the one that should be apologizing."

I stop and turn to look at him. "What do you have to be apologizing for? You've done nothing to me."

He stopped to. "I'm the one that got you into all of this." He motioned with his hands all around him as a way to refer to everything at once. "I could've stopped you before you fell in the road. But I called Carlisle to come change you. In a way, everything's my fault. If I hadn't have gotten him, you would be-"

"Dead." I say. I never knew _Edward_ saved me. I knew he was there, but, with what they told me, Carlisle was there too. He _told_ him to save me. I felt so…shocked, and grateful, and a bunch of other things I didn't recognize. Let just say, Edward Cullen just rose a lot in my standards.

He was about to say something else, but I interrupted him. "Yeah, it's your fault I'm not dead. That's not exactly something to be sorry about. And, for the record, if what you say is true, it's my fault, because I shouldn't have been there that night. All I have to say is thank you for saving my life, and lets drop this now. I don't want to hear you blame yourself anymore and I know you will because you are Edward Cullen and, based on four months of knowing you, Edward Cullen blames himself for everything, no way around it."

He looked stricken. "You don't understand."

"Oh, I do. If you are so keen on blaming yourself for me being alive. I can only see one logical reason for that, and if you hate me enough to wish I am dead, then why are you here doing this for me? Hmm?"

"Bella, don't-"

"You could've just left me lying in the road; that would've been the simplest way. Or you could have told me nothing about being a vampire and let me lose in town. Then those…those Vulture people or whoever would've gotten me. There are so many options, yet all you do is stand there and tell me you're sorry. It makes no sense. At all."

And then I took off, running at my fastest speed away from him toward the forest. I've been alone in the forest. To me, it's oddly comforting. It would be the perfect place to get away from him.

I look back to see if Edward is following me like I expected him to. He isn't. If I were him, I'd follow me.

While I'm running, I think back on what just happened. I'd gotten so angry, but didn't attack him again like most people would've thought. Of course I realized that what I had said wouldn't be the case. Edward is way too nice to ever do that. I was honestly confused. I didn't have any idea why he would be sorry for saving me, but I wasn't going to tell him that. In my mind, what I just did was a perfect reason to get him to tell me what the heck was going through his head.

He would go back home and then I would. When he next saw me he would apologize and try to explain himself so I wouldn't be left thinking he hated me, because all girls hate that, right? If all things worked out, everything would be okay in the end and we would all know a little more about each other and that's always good, right? The perfect ending?

I snickered. Right now, I was so angry, all I felt like doing was knocking down a bunch of trees and being the destructive newborn I'm supposed to be. I don't know why I feel so angry. I am so confusing.

_I got angry and ran away._ I told myself_, because that's how I'm _supposed_ to act, right? _

And maybe, just maybe, I felt like being normal for once.

_A/N: And this completes my new long overdue chapter. Happy?_

_I have no comments about the lateness of this, because there is simply no excuse. Sorry._

_I guess I was hung up on writing the fight. But today after school I randomly thought, "Why don't you skip it all?" So I did._

_No, wait, I lied. I do have two comments._

_1) You know how people say kids in band have no social life? If they can't find time to be sociable, then how the heck are they supposed to find time to write?_

_2) Since I have updated, my writing style has changed a lot. Twilight is just way old for me and it's a bit tedious writing it. I also prefer to write third person. I wanted to this chapter, but I figured people don't like it when your POV type randomly changes._

_Other than that, I am incredibly busy. (For example, this week I got less than an hour of free time every day until today [That's from 4 afterschool practices until 6:30. Four! Two extra 'cause I'm in guard.]) But I know what I want to happen next chapter. Wanna take a guess? There's a tiny tiny bit of foreshadowing if you paid attention/remember earlier chapters._

_I didn't know what to title this chapter. So I went with what I seemed to say most: sociably awkward._

_Thanks soooo much for sticking with me. Review? (Gosh, I miss getting more than two reviews. I'd make my day just to get four. [I've already had my day made today, so it'll be tomorrow ;) ])_

_Does anyone else post their chapters as soon as they get done? Like right afterward?_


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